Chapter 45

On Humility in the Sight of God

The Disciple. I will presume to speak to my Lord, though I am but dust and ashes.(Gen.18:27) If I esteem myself to be anything more, You confront me, and my sins bear a true witness against me, that I cannot contradict. But if I humble myself and acknowledge my nothingness; if I cast away all my self-esteem and reduce myself to the dust that I really am, then Your grace will come to me, and Your light will enter my heart; thus will the last trace of self-esteem be engulfed in the depth of my own nothingness, and perish for ever. Thus You show me my true self, what I am, what I have been, and what I have become; for I am nothing, and did not know it. By myself I am nothing, and am all weakness. But if for a moment You look on me, I become strong once again, and am filled with new joy. It amazes me how speedily You raise and enfold me with Your grace, who of myself ever fall into the depths.

It is Your love that achieves this, freely guiding and supporting me in my many needs, guarding me from grievous perils, and, as I may truthfully confess, rescuing me from evils without number. And whereas by perverse self-love I had lost myself,(John 12:25) now by lovingly seeking You alone, I have found both myself and You; for by that love I have humbled myself to utter nothingness. Dearest Lord, You deal with me above my deserts, and above all I dare hope or pray for.

O Blessed Lord God, I am not worthy of any blessings, yet Your generosity and infinite goodness never cease to benefit even those who are ungrateful,(Matt.5:45) and have wandered far from You. O turn our hearts to you (Ps. 80:19) that we may be thankful, humble and devoted; for You are our Salvation, our Power, and our Strength.

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